303. ABBA, "The Definitive Collection"

 


These fuckin Swedes just would not quit.  This album is a collection of basically all their singles between 1972 and 1982, when they were busy dominating pop charts with their unique, chirpy, shimmery synth-pop that was so earwormy I was initially afraid to listen to it because I know a bunch of the songs will be stuck in my head for months.  Also, it's well over 2 hours of ABBA and after about an hour you start to get ear-tired of the, let's face it, very uniform sound.

So of course there are all the songs you already know, you got your "Dancing Queen" and your "Fernando" and your "SOS" and your "Take a Chance On Me" and so on and on and on.  I'm being snarky, I know, but has any other group successfully injected so many instantly catchy songs into the public consciousness in such a short amount of time?  Why are Swedish people so good at this?

The collection proceeds roughly chronologically, which is a trip because I had never heard the early stuff like "People Need Love," which sounds like Up With People smoked some grass.  The first song I recognized was "Waterloo," which famously won the 1974 Eurovision song contest and propelled ABBA into worldwide stardom.  It's a pretty good song.  I think my faves are "SOS" and "Take a Chance On Me," which has that chanted "take a chance/take a chance" sub-vocal that reminds me of "Hooked on a Feeling" every time.

There's some weird shit too.  In the genre of "you're hot but underage" we have "Does Your Mother Know":

You're so hot, teasing me
So you're blue but I can't take a chance on a chick like you
That's something I couldn't do
There's that look in your eyes
I can read in your face that your feelings are driving you wild
Ah, but girl you're only a child
Well, I can dance with you honey
If you think it's funny
Does your mother know that you're out

But anyone recording in the 70's is gonna have some weird shit.  You know what, though?  ABBA is one of those acts that it's probably more uncool to dislike than like.  Even though they're more square than a picture frame, everybody loves them.  You could put on "Dancing Queen" at the most hipstery bar in Brooklyn or a club in LA or a dive bar in Racine, Wisconsin, and the reception will be the same: rapturous singalong.  Who else has that effect?

Does this album deserve to be in the Top 500? Again, I'm not sure how I feel about collections being included, but there should absolutely be an ABBA album on here, so if this is the one, fine.

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