192. Beastie Boys, "Licensed to Ill"

 


Sometimes there is a great confluence of album and day of the week and it is fucking FRIDAY and the album is this, a blast of snarling New York whiteboy rap.  It is not a "smart" or "sophisticated" or "very good" album but it certainly made a statement.  Rick Rubin deserves a lot of credit for taking a hardcore band from Brooklyn and turning it into this.  This note from Wikipedia cracked me up: "It is the only album by a Jewish hip-hop act to receive 5 mics from The Source."  Yes I suppose so!

As the Beastie Boys got older and matured and turned into activists and whatnot, God bless 'em, they felt the need to repeatedly apologize for this album, which they originally wanted to title Don't Be a Faggot.  You can see why!  It's crass and crude and gleefully misogynistic.  

Coolin' by the lockers getting kind of funky
Me and the crew we're drinking Brass Monkey
This girl walked by she gave me the eye
I reached in the locker grabbed the Spanish Fly
I put it with the Monkey mixed it in the cup
Went over to the girl, "Yo baby, what's up?"
I offered her a sip the girl she gave me lip
It did begin the stuff wore in and now she's on my tip

Of course, this is like "Let's Go to the Hop" compared to some shit that would come later, but still.

But also kind of groundbreaking?  "Fight For Your Right" may have inexorably led to Limp Bizkit and for that we'll always have the Beastie Boys to blame.  In fact, all that horrible rap-metal from the 90's probably found its launch here.  So that's something.  

I don't mean to shit on this album entirely!  There are some absolute classics on here, like "No Sleep Till Brooklyn," "Hold It Now, Hit It," and "Paul Revere," with its famous backwards-tracked drum sounds.  It still sounds cool.

I guess I like but don't love this album.  I remember it being a big deal in the 80's but it doesn't hold up incredibly well.  Honestly, it sounds pretty dated but I appreciate the impact and the influence.  Plus, it's hard to dislike any album that namechecks White Castle in like 2/3 of the songs.

The Beastie Boys would, of course, go on to much bigger and better things, and we will surely be seeing them again.  But for now, let's pretend it's the 80's, unscrew the caps off a couple of Mickey's 40s, and smoke Camel unfilters in the parking lot.

Does this album deserve to be in the Top 500? Top 500 yes, Top 200 no.

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